2:33 AM

It's 2:33AM. Exactly 2 hours and 33 minutes since I made what could possibly go down as the dumbest decision so far, four months ago.

I still hear her voice in my head; gisting happily with her friends. She's probably even forgotten I exist. I wonder who she's with now and what she told him bout her immediate past relationship. That is, if in fact, there was even a relationship.

I should've taken heed to the voices in my head when they said young love was for the feeble minded. I thought it was only the bravest of men that let themselves be vulnerably in love, for it is only in being weak that one can truly find strength?

Wasn't that what you said to me, Ghandi? Yeah, it probably wasn't Ghandi's quote but what does it matter? All philosophers are the same seeing as this conversation is happening in my  head.

I don't really know if I know what love is or how to know it's real but what I know for sure is that what I felt for Chiamaka was real and I can't help but feel foolish every time I remember how she left me at the altar.

Altar is such a strong word, you'd say but this is not your typical almost married sorta altar. This is a ‘private University student girlfriend supposed to come see her boyfriend during her short lived, once in a blue moon, Easter break but ends up leaving the relationship that same week without explanations’ kinda altar. The very altar on which my relationship lay was defiled  and left to rot before my very eyes.

We had been on & off for two years but I finally resolved to fight for love against all odds and hope it'll prevail. We had a misunderstanding which led to 3 months of silence but I swallowed my pride and broke that silence that night when I made that call, with the airtime I loaded to subscribe for a data plan.

Alas, I gave up my data for love and the same love has left me alone in a data-less relationship.

Why did she leave? That's a question I'm hoping to get an answer to, someday. But for now, all I have are these words I mutter to myself like I'm silently praying, and the time 2:33AM repeatedly hunting me.

It's 2:33AM and you're still not here by my side where you said you will always be, four months ago. I shouldn't have made that call.



Written by Tuzy for: Awestafricangirl.
Edited by Molawa Olawale.